Karachi — An asshole was reportedly driving in the fast lane, texting someone while he was in the fast lane. According to eyewitnesses that contacted Roznama Jawani, the asshole refused to pay attention to the cars flicking their lights in his rear-view mirror. The drivers in the cars cursed at him and honked as well which weren’t paid attention to either. A witness who was driving right behind the asshole described them as “…a complete fucking moron who was probably a huge mistake of his parents who should be publicly executed for having a douchebag for an offspring like that”.
Another witness who contacted Roznama Jawani out of their will said that, “I wish I could tie all these assholes to a tree and tickle them till they pee their pants. After that, I’d just leave them there with their cell phones. Come to think of it, if I am too angry at the moment, I might just pee on them without having to wait for them to pee…”. In view of the rising trend, Roznama Jawani contacted a psychologist to get an insight in the mind of an “asshole”.
Speaking to Roznama Jawani, Psychologist Faisal Mumtaz Khan said that it takes special DNA to produce an asshole. “…you have to see that these guys are… well… special! They don’t deserve our hatred but rather need our help and attention. As children, these specific types of assholes go through massive traumas which trigger their special DNA mutation, and without proper counseling they will just end up throwing their lives away and would probably grow up giving blowjobs to random people for phone credit”, Mr. Faisal explained.
When questioned about the types of traumas the assholes go through Faisal said that, “…it’s highly likely that they saw their parents getting it on with each other doggystyle and were later told that daddy is fixing mommy’s back”.
