By – Hungry Hungry Boy
Wow! I was so hungry last night that I could’ve eaten anything. And do you know how hard it is to go to sleep on an empty stomach? Well you would know if you were homeless, or a homeless charsi. But neither am I; at least not homeless. Being homeless would’ve sucked though and specially for me since I get very hungry from time to time. I don’t know what I would’ve done or blown in order to get some food. Geez now I sound like a prostitute who wants to raise money for her family; 2 kids who also need to be sent to school. But I am not homeless, nor a prostitute (or am I?)… I was just hungry.
Shamelessly copied from somewhere.
I was so hungry that I thought “Hey! If I had a horse around me, I would eat it.” But I am not sure what horse tastes like. I called a friend to find out if he’s ever had a horse. He got mad at me and said I am not supposed to call him at 3 in the morning unless I am dying or something. I tried to reason with him that if I don’t eat, I will die. I also tried to explain to him how I am not a homeless charsi prostitute who has to raise two kids. I was hungry and wanted to use whatever ammunition I could to get him to answer my question. My friend asked me never to call him at 3 in the morning and hung up.
Then I thought, why a horse? Am I not hungry enough to eat anything? Truth be told, I was. I was so hungry that I could’ve eaten a pig, but since I am a Muslim I can’t eat pig. So I replaced pig with zebra. But now, the question of what zebra tastes like started bugging me. I was miserably stuck; hungry and at loss for answers and my friend would not come to the phone. Fucker must’ve been getting laid or something. I hope he breaks his penis. I hate him. Which reminds me that it’s been quite some time I last had sex. “FOOD FOR SEX!” That was the thought that came in to my mind. I felt political. My mind reasoned that if the International community can have programs like Food for Oil, why can’t I do the same? I also consider myself International community.
Coming back to the zebra at hand, I think they would taste funky; the white parts and the black stripes part would taste different. As I was thinking about my zebra menu, a friend of mine shared a funny post on my Facebook wall. It was a test paper where a student had written that Sir Syed had an easyload-for-mobiles shop. What a choot! Telenor had not come up with easy load at that time. So it is impossible that he would have an easyload shop. I wish Sir Syed lived in this time, and near my place. I also wish he had a 24 hour shop. Oh man I am just too darn hungry to think straight! Note to self: Never imagine Sir Syed without pants behind a counter on a shop.
DAMNIT FRIEND! I hate you for distracting me! I was hungry and I need to focus on it. Actually by now I should say that I was hungry two days back, though I was also hungry last night. But it wasn’t like how it was two days back, the original hunger that I was talking about. Maybe the hunger lasted in my mind and I lost all track of time because I remember I started writing this on Monday and today is Wednesday. Call me crazy, but it’s true. Though even if you didn’t call me crazy, it would be true. OR even if you called me something else it would still be true because damnit I WAS HUNGRY!!!
