This Privacy Policy applies to Friends, Family, Co-Workers, My First Ex-Wife, My Second Ex-Wife, and all users of this website including but not limited to My Late Great Grand Uncle from beyond the grave and his progeny.
• Data: We do not sell your data. We have no use for it beyond standard web operations and shipping merchandise you purchase. We already hold more information than we know what to do with, and you may request some of it from us for free. Here is a sample: [DATA]. Observe it at your own time.
• Money: We do want money. You can assist by spending long hours on the website, clicking ads, buying merchandise, or giving us money directly or indirectly. Cash is preferred, banks are devil’s workshops.
• Cookies: Cookies are placed on your device to enable interactive features. You may disable them, but certain parts of the site will no longer function as intended.
• Accounts: There is no user registration system, so we do not create profiles or track you. We ask only that you monitor yourself, your well-being, and your neighbours. And Aisha, we sincerely hope your outlook on humanity has improved and you’re not as cynical as you used to be.
• Social Media: We do not own any social platforms. Mr. Zuckerberg, Mr. Musk, and Mr. Google have no connection to us. What they do with your data when you interact with our pages there is strictly between you, them, and any higher powers you believe in. Our only interest on those platforms is that you engage with our content.
• Easy Peasy Japanesey: Other news outlets will keep you occupied with the fine print. We at Roznama Javani defecate on fine prints. This is the easiest and most direct and most unambiguous Privacy Policy you would’ve read. We no sell data. We want legal money. We not care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you don’t involve us in pointless legal calls.
