Lahore — A local black magic expert Amil Nagi Bawa announced that on behalf of the entire nation, he is going to get back at the CIA spy Raymond Davis who was released by the Pakistani courts after being pardonned by the families of the people he murdered. His announcement has been welcomed by the entire country and religious political parties have taken to the streets, chanting slogans in favor of Amil Nagi Bawa.
According to detailed reports, last week Amil Nagi Bawa announced that he had created a voodoo doll that was laced with Raymond Davis’ DNA. Nagi Bawa said that he aquaired the DNA from Raymond’s hair which were in the comb found in his jail-cell and was smuggled out by police man sympathetic to Bawa’s cause. Nagi Bawa said that he had no faith left in the current political leadership. Adding to it he further said that he was apprised by one of the “djinns” he controls that the authorities involved in letting Raymond go, were sitting on an island, drunking and gloating over their success and singing foul songs to celebrate the occassion. Amil Nagi said that learning this made him furious and he ordered the djinn to pee on them. “Baray hee koi gashti ke bachay hain! Moot de haramzadoon pe!!” (Big children of a prostitute. Pee on those bastards), said Amil Nagi but was informed by the djinn that their kind doesn’t support that biological feature.
Amil Nagi Bawa’s next move was to be in control of the things himself. According to him, and the people who have been going to see him in Lahore, Amil has prepared a special Raymond Davis voodoo doll. He says that he did this out of sheer hatred towards America and CIA because they were against Muslims. Amil added that his voodoo doll was well within Islamic jurisdiction. He said that the doll works how all voodoo dolls work, “…you poke it here and he gets poked there”, with a wink and finger impressions of inverted commas for the word “poked”. He said that since Raymond Davis was a non-Muslim, the thought that he can save his ass by “…simply sacrificing a black goat every now and then…” would never cross his mind.
People have started visiting him as the word has gotten out. Line after line, Pakistanis from all over the country have gathered where Amil Nagi Bawa had announced he would keep it; at the foot of Minar-e-Pakistan. Everyone standing in the lines seem be acknowledging that they hate Raymond Davis. Roznama Jawani tried to confirm if it was “hate” or “dislike” and was confirmed by an angry citizen who said, “Raymond dalla hai” (Raymond is a pimp) and spit in the direction where the doll is kept.
