Karachi — A local pedophile Haris C. declared to a close friend and confidant that he considers the unofficial school district in North Nazimabad a perfect place to hangout for people like himself. He said that the best time to be there was when the schools were ending for the day and amongst the traffic jam, he could just stand there pretending to be a gola-ganda (icicles) hawker.
The details were revealed to Roznama Jawani by the backstabbing bastard Haris C. considers a close friend but according to the friend, who refused to be named, the secret was killing him, and he wanted to share it with someone. Mr. Haris, who by occupation is a barber, every day ritualistically runs to sell colorful-sacrin-filled-icecicles-which-eventually-will-lead-to-diabaties when the school end time is near. The friend (who is dumb enough to forget that Mr. Haris will eventually find out he outed him) said that according to Mr. Haris, the school bells announcing the end time sound like heavenly bells to him. “…I go and stand in a perfect place where there are schools to my right and schools to my left. And then one by one the bells start ringing. It sounds like heaven on stereo…”, the friend quoted the unsuspecting and gullible pedophile.
According to some research, there are about 67 schools and school’s branches in the area where Mr. Haris sells his gola-ganda before returning to his haircutting saloon. The saloon is a few streets away from the creepily-yet-appropriately-named pedo-heaven. Mr. Haris was quoted as saying that he wouldn’t have to sell gola-gandas if his saloon was right opposite the schools but it was his misfortune to have been hired there. “Yaar I am telling you, all you see from my shop are these weird ACCA students because they come to the photocopy shop next door. They look creepy to me.” Mr. Haris’s friend further quoted him.
Mr. Haris C’s friend, who might’ve been guessed by now by Mr. Haris if he’s reading the news article, said that as creepy as his friend was he was bound by the bro-code to stick with him through thick and thin. The friend suggestively smirked a little after saying that. The friend further said that Mr. Haris holds Society responsible for his disgusting and creepy fetish. “…I mean the society has allowed all these schools to be present in the same vicinity, they all end at the same time and then there are like at least some 500-600 kids running around on the roads. Trust me, I am not the only admirer there! Saleem sells corn there as well.” Mr. Haris was quoted.
The Society was contacted for comments regarding this but it said that it cannot do anything about the situation of the schools and the presence of pedophiles in the area. “How is it my problem? I’ve never been trained to deal with pedophilia and what the hell is it anyway? Some fancy name that the West came up with? Yes there are a lot of creepy hawkers eying little kids but as long as our kids leave us alone for a few hours, we’re OK with it.” the Society further said.
