Peshawar – Parliamentarians in the Khyber Pakhtunkhwa Assembly voted on three bills yesterday. The first bill was presented by the right wing parties calling for a full ban on the song ‘Bano Badnaam Hui Azeezam Tere Liye’ which according to the bill “contains objectionable material that is against our religious and family values” the bill was passed by a 67% majority vote.
The second bill was presented by the left wing ruling party calling reduction in the rates of Broadband internet provided to citizens above the age of 47.23 years, the bill was passed by a 62% majority vote.
The third bill was presented by Maulana Shahalam Azamullah Khan Yousufzai Mankhoosabadi from Kohat titled “Imposition of Public Anti Urination Laws in Khyber Pakhtunkhwa.” The bill contained a proposal to implement a small fine for all women found urinating in public areas, and a large fine for all men found urinating in public areas. The fine will range from Rs 500 to Rs 10,000 depending upon the publicness (sic) of the location and the level of uncleanliness caused. The bill was defeated after it got 1 vote in favour and 2 against. All other members in the house were rendered helpless by all the disinterest they had in the bill. Maulana from Kohat was seen stomping down the stairs of the assembly and throwing away the pages from the bill screaming “I am going out to take a leak. It’s payback time bitches!”
Opinion in the province is bitterly divided over the result of this final piece of legislation. Prof. Dr. Afrasiab Khan Khattak of the Department of Social Sciences at Peshawar University said that “The level of manners and etiquette in the nation have undergone a serious battering in the past decades; I wished for this legislation to pass.” He was also of the opinion that mass education, democracy and legal systems have caused people to become more arrogant and thankless in terms of what life has to offer them.
Syed Muhammad Ali Raza Zaidi who is the chief scribe of the Parliament was commenting on the language used in the bill. Speaking at a press conference he said that he had identified 637 errors in the original drafts . Of these errors he said that 284 were grammatical errors, 341 were spelling errors, 4 errors of logic, 4 errors of judgement and 4 lies. Elucidating further he informed the press that this is exactly what he refers to as the deterioration in the educational system of the country. He also expressed concern over his misshaped nose.”
Dr Anisa Jabeen Khan, a doctor practicing family medicine, whilst discussing the bill said, “This law is not about morality or decency, it is only a sad attempt to keep the country clean and eventually drive all the doctors out of the country. I condemn this bill!”
Peshawar University student Zaheer Khan decided to use his words sparingly, “I do it, you do it, we all do it, and we all love to do it. I am going to do it, so help me God. And if anyone tries to stop me, I will do it on them.” The comments were backed other university students who were present with Mr. Khan during the brief interview.
