Kabul — From our correspondent. In a recent interview to Roznama Jawani, Osama bin Laden said that in order to become a successful terrorist, he had to give up his budding career as a porn actor. In an hour long interview, during which the correspondent was blind folded, Osama said that had it not been so important to blow up the world and enforce their twisted will up on the world, he would’ve made it to the top 5 ranks in the porn industry. He said that things were much simpler when he was not a terrorist. “It was like, lights… camera… action! And we’d then hump like bunnies. Simpler days!” Osama said that while he didn’t want to take all the credit from Ron Jeremy, an old time buddy and a respectable name in pornographic industry, he did want to set the score clear that from 1995 to 1999 Osama was behind the scripts of all Ron Jeremy movies. Osama said that he misses the “set”. He said that he was always fond of plywood smell. “Yeah it burnt the eyes a bit and at times I wasn’t really sure where I was “going” because I couldn’t see. But then again, I could always rely on my co-star.” He said that the last time he saw his coworkers in real life was 15 years ago!
“WOW! Time flies quickly doesn’t it? I mean, it just feels like yesterday I, Jenna (Jameson) and Terra (Patrick) were hanging out in Jenna’s basement. We were working on a new label and were auditioning the cast. And now, when I am a successful terrorist, I don’t have friends. All I have these guns, and bombs and memories of my time as a budding porn actor.” Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy said that while he had indeed worked with Osama on a few projects, his claim at credits was nothing more than a “sad attempt to come back”. Ron said that he respected Osama and his “talent”, the idea that Osama wrote the scripts was “absurd”. Speaking to Roznama Jawani, Osama’s former co-star in several clips said, “I miss working with him. He was always a gentleman on the street. But when the director said, “ACTION!” all hell broke loose! It was like working with a chimpanzee on steroids.”
