Karachi — In view of repetitive telephonic speeches by Muttahda Qoumi Movement leader Altaf Hussain, the MQM Rabita Committee has announced that on the day of his next telephonic speech, all PTCL telephone sets across Pakistan would automatically assume the title and status of “Altaf Hussain”. On that day, all the landlines in Pakistan are to be connected to MQM headquarters in 90, Karachi. Any caller who picks up the phone to dial a loved one will have the imponderable joy of listening to Altaf Hussain’s entire 3-hour speech. And then the call will be forwarded.
Rabita Committee announced this in a press conference 2 weeks before the latest speech the leader of MQM had written. “All telephone sets across Pakistan will be regarded as Altaf Hussain from 2 pm to 9 pm. Though the speech will last only 3 hours, the effects of Altaf Hussain’s legendary personality will take a few more hours to wear off from the telephone set. Altaf Hussain has especially written a poem for this occasion and he wants to exclusively air it that day.” Rabita Commettee further told Roznama Jawani that no one was as good with telephones as Altaf Hussain was, and that this was proven when Nawaz Shareef tried to pull off something like that when he was in KSA (after being ousted by Pervez Musharraf). “Silly Nawaz. Hair are for Altaf”, said the spokesperson of the Rabita Committee.
In addition to the decision to raise the status of telephone sets every 20 or something days, the MQM has also decided to launch an 0900 IVR service which would enable any Pakistani to dial in to the service and listen to their favourite Altaf Hussain speeches, favourite Altaf Hussain quotes, Altaf Hussain trivia and Surprise Altaf Packages. One can also download Altaf Hussain ring tones from the service.
