Karachi — In shocking news as told to Roznama Jawani by friends of one Tariq Muneer, he has been having trouble empathizing with riot affected people in London on account of his mild but growing obsession to get laid. According to the sources close to Tariq, he has been on a dry spell for the last seven months and hasn’t been able to “…score with any bachi (girl)”. Mr. Tariq, who works for a multinational company reportedly got laid in January for the last time to date.
According to witnesses, Tariq was seen channel surfing on Monday and he allegedly stopped for 2 seconds on the BBC News channel. Tariq changed the channel after seeing images of riots in London saying “heh” in a condescending tone. Tariq changed the channel to Masala TV and focused on Rida Aftab who is a host of a cooking show. The sources confirm that he switched the volume down to zero. Friends of Mr. Tariq said that when they tried to have an intellectual discussion about the riots with him he replied with “maan ki choot hai yaar” and refused to pay attention to anything but Rida Aftab on television. He was seen licking his lips in a very suggestive manner.
Friends of Mr. Tariq say that they have seen his apathy grow over the last few months. They told Roznama Jawani that he used to be a person who would empathize with anyone but his current dry spell was not helping him at all. One of the friends speaking with us said, “I bet if he knew that that was the last time he was getting laid, he would never have ended it.” The friend, Jamil Sher added that had that been the case Tariq would probably have died of sexual exertion but “…at least he wouldn’t have become this soulless creature he has become now.”
A source close to Tariq said that his dry spell is affecting everyone around him and lately he has been giving off negative energy. “The man is down. He is depressed because he’s horny and not getting any. I am just worried that he will lose it one day and hump me.” Tariq’s friend who asked not to be named claimed that he did not belong to the gay community and said that he would like to keep it that way.
